


how miya atsumu successfully took over sakusa kiyoomi's mind within a week (more like a day)

by luvhollie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuto is mentioned but whatever, Canon Compliant, Hinata hasn't joined yet, M/M, We need flustered omi, finally sakusa simping over atsumu, light overthinking, poor baby sakusa can't stop thinkin bout atsu, simp sakusa simp sakusa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:28:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29262000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvhollie/pseuds/luvhollie
Summary: sakusa overthinks, a lot -- he can control and ignore it, but you can't ignore something foreveratsumu forces himself into sakusa's life when he's 16, and sakusa is still cursed with his presence, now 22
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 71





	how miya atsumu successfully took over sakusa kiyoomi's mind within a week (more like a day)

Sakusa is just like everybody else in this world. But he likes to be safe. He can’t think of a time when people in school hadn’t came up to him asking if he was scared of being sick, scared of germs, scared of - well everything. His junior high volleyball team found it unbelievable when someone wearing a mask, smelling of lemon hand sanitizer, walked in, seriously wanting to join. To many people's surprise, he has feelings, he just doesn't like to show them. He enjoys things that aren't volleyball (Bokuto still doesn't believe he actually likes volleyball) He cares about more than people would think, and unfortunately, Miya Atsumu is one of those people he cares about.

Sakusa had always overthought things, even when he was a child. In elementary school, he couldn’t help but think there was something different about him. All the other children around him seemed carefree and looked like they were having fun. Sakusa didn’t know what that felt like. From a young age he had issues with tasks that the average person wouldn’t think twice about. Whenever he thought about going to a public restroom, his mind would start whirring a little, and he would think about if he could hold it, or if he could go to a safer bathroom elsewhere. He was sure nobody else thought like him, as he never had many friends, he didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. He had his cousin, but he thought he would tell his parents and he would get in trouble for it. It wasn’t something that he could help, to Sakusa, trying to not think about something is the same as thinking about it.

Sakusa gradually got used to his brain, and learnt to deal with it by himself. Once he entered junior high, he started wearing face masks, and using hand sanitizer, and found himself slightly repulsed by the idea of having to stay there for 3 years. Volleyball kept him sane. It was one of the few things he enjoyed doing and could enjoy without overthinking. He had confidence in himself and what he could do, so he never doubted himself.

Junior high felt like a blur to him. He doesn’t remember much about it, but he remembers Ushijima. The first time they met was at a tournament, in the bathroom Sakusa really didn’t want to go to. Ushijima was one of the first people he considered a friend, despite their ongoing rivalry. Sure, he had teammates and they probably enjoyed playing with him, but he didn’t consider them friends. Komori was his friend too, but that was kind of a given as they were cousins. Ushijima was one of the few people Sakusa could be around without a mask, he was glad they were friends, even if rivals also came with that term. 

High school was really his favourite time. Getting into high school volleyball also meant having to cooperate. He didn’t take Junior high volleyball as seriously as he took high school volleyball. His first year of high school wasn’t very exciting for him, he got exposure therapy along with more general therapy to help him get through tougher days. It didn’t exactly help with him overall but it calmed his nerves down. The therapy definitely paid off, allowing Sakusa to “unleash” his true potential, and steadily make his way up to being the #1 ace in high school volleyball. It was proven even more when he and komori were invited to the All-Japan Youth training camp in their second year. He wasn’t exactly pleased about having to go to a place he didn’t know, but considering this was a professional training camp — it couldn’t be too bad. 

Everything leading up to going there was the same as usual, until his cousin said Miya Atsumu was also going to be attending the training camp. Deciding to go there was now officially a bad idea, but it was too late to back out. He had already said he would be attending, Komori probably didn’t tell him until the day of so he couldn’t just stay home.

Sakusa never had a specific problem with Atsumu, it was just his personality. He had enough confidence to last his whole life, probably even longer than that, and was the most cocky person Sakusa knew. His brother was a lot more tolerable but Atsumu - being competitive towards him whenever possible - it made sense he would be considered the twin better at volleyball. Atsumu was the definition of annoying, but of course, he had the skills to back it up. He couldn’t deny his volleyball skills, nobody could. “The best high school setter” according to everybody in the volleyball world, it made sense they were both invited, the #1 ace and #1 high school setter? Anyone would want to see them play together

Upon arriving there, the weird glances were normal and no longer bothered him, but Atsumu staring at him from the moment he stepped in, that bothered him. Sakusa couldn’t deny that he was attractive at the time too. His bleach job may have been absolutely awful, but he was generally attractive. Not that he would ever admit this to anyone else but himself (probably not even himself)

And the staring continued, for the entire time they were there. Sakusa didn’t have the energy to snap at him, as playing there was already tiring enough. Once again, Sakusa found himself struggling to be mad at him. He is a good setter, he is attractive, and he is extremely annoying. He followed him around whenever they weren’t practicing, trying to make conversation. He asked to pair up with him most of the time, which was a blessing in disguise. Another thing Sakusa couldn’t deny, he appreciated him offering to pair up with him. It was as if he could see Sakusa panicking mentally, and wanted to help. But he would still not say any of this to Atsumu’s face. Sakusa never hated Atsumu and didn’t think he possibly could hate him. He might’ve been slightly overwhelming at first, but he cared. Giving short responses was surprisingly enough to please Atsumu. It was their last day at the camp and he heard Atsumu on the phone with someone - probably Osamu, (wouldn’t be shocking if he was the only person who could handle him full-time) gushing about how he had finally stopped ignoring him.

Atsumu came out as bisexual in his first year in high school on social media, Osamu was gay and had a boyfriend. (of course it’s suna) so it wasn’t really much of a surprise to Komori. Sakusa was far from ugly, and he knew that. He just didn’t have an overwhelming amount of confidence, but, thankfully, not everybody has as much as confidence at Atsumu. Something about his confidence made Sakusa feel pulled to him. 

No matter how much he tried to stop himself, he couldn’t ignore him. He pouted whenever he didn’t respond, which was cute. So, Sakusa couldn’t ignore him. When he responded with words and not a glare, his somewhat fake grin changed into a real grin. Atsumu smiling at him, in such an endearing way-- Sakusa felt the blush creeping onto his face, his ears heating up, and the butterflies he got and oh- this is the feeling Komori was talking about. To think that Miya Atsumu -- the most annoyingly cute person he had met, was making him feel like this- Sakusa was officially dying. For once, Sakusa was glad he had his mask on. Sakusa may wear them the majority of the time he’s out, but that doesn’t mean they’re comfortable. By the time they were leaving, he hadn’t seen much of Atsumu, but was given a note from Komori -- of course it was from Atsumu. And of course he put his number in it.

Sakusa didn’t mind Atsumu texting him, he was in group chats with other players - Komori added him, but he didn’t talk to the people there. After they got into their third year of high school, Atsumu got more distant. Sakusa didn’t realise how different it was to not get ‘good morning omi’ texts. Sakusa likes things to be the same. He likes routines, he likes things to go his way, he likes things to stay the same. It wasn’t a gradual thing, one day, Atsumu just stopped messaging him. He posts on social media, he posts screenshots of messages between him and other people, but doesn’t bother texting Sakusa. The last thing he remembers is Atsumu calling him at 2am, crying because Osamu said he didn’t want to play volleyball professionally. After an hour of Atsumu blabbing out nonsense, he thanks Sakusa for listening and hangs up, not giving him a chance to respond.

Atsumu went straight into playing professionally, while Sakusa went to college. They were both busy with their lives, but that doesn’t mean that Sakusa doesn’t check his phone daily to see if Atsumu has messaged him, only to be greeted with his follower count steadily increasing and pictures of him and his new team. Sakusa is busy with school, but isn’t surprised when he starts seeing Atsumu in the setter on his college team. He imagines how it would feel to play with Atsumu again, having perfect sets- just for him, everyday. 

They haven't talked for almost 4 years, and Sakusa thought they would never talk again. He couldn’t have been more wrong.

A few months before Sakusa is due to graduate from university, he looks into teams to join. After seeing the MSBY Black Jackals, Sakusa thinks it could be a good team for him. Bokuto joined recently, and while Bokuto is a handful, he’s a good spiker. Having Sakusa and Bokuto on the same team could possibly break the internet. That’s until he sees their main setter is Atsumu. The Atsumu that completely swept him off his feet within a week, then proceeded to ignore his existence for 4 years. Sakusa hates himself for thinking about not trying out for the team because of one person. He got more therapy and learnt more tactics to help himself in college, and he wasn’t gonna let it go to waste because of Miya fucking Atsumu. Sakusa thinks about ignoring Atsumu’s existence, acting like he’s not even there, but if he’s anywhere close to similar to how he was in high school, he’s gonna be just as persistent. 

Sakusa was dreading going to the gym to be evaluated and work with the rest of the team. Him and Atsumu didn’t have anything back then, why was he getting so worked up over this? Atsumu is a good setter, they’re a good team. That’s all that matters.

Upon arriving, the rest of the people there to try-out don’t give him any weird looks -- I guess people do take this more seriously now. As their coach is going over the guidelines, Sakusa sees Atsumu in the corner of his eye. He got his hair done properly, he’s tanned, and god, his thighs- His plan was to ignore him, minimal conversation - no conversation would be better, and pray that Atsumu has lost the ability to be persistent over the years. And that plan no longer exists when Atsumu gives him that one endearing smile -- a smile that has haunted his memory for the past 4 years, and his plan is thrown out the window within 10 seconds of seeing him. His instagram photos and pictures on the news don’t do him any justice.

Sakusa missed his presence, he missed playing volleyball properly, he misses the smile Sakusa has only seen used towards him, he misses serious matches- Atsumu’s confidence is overwhelming again, and it’s hard to ignore, it’s something that stands out about him. It’s like you’re gravitating towards him, and you can’t do anything to stop it. The only thing Sakusa wants is to act like Atsumu doesn’t exist, but when someone as attractive as him exists and isn’t a figment of his imagination, how could he resist? (how could anyone resist)

After the try-outs, Sakusa is straight out of the gym, not wanting to be bothered by anyone, specifically Atsumu. After being bombarded with questions about his wrists and being thoroughly examined by their coach, he is saved once again (it’s almost another blessing, atsumu is told to go practice elsewhere as soon as he tries to talk to them)

Sakusa makes the team, and slowly eases into it. His nerves settled down a lot throughout university, but they’re still there. He learnt at a young age that it’s even worse to push them back and ignore them, because eventually you’ll snap and won’t be able to push them back.

It happens a few weeks into Sakusa joining the team. He had been pushing back more of his nerves than usual, thanks to Atsumu practically forcing himself into his life. He flirted with Sakusa, he sat with him on the coach, in restaurants, at bars, you name it and Atsumu would’ve been there to sit next to him. Sakusa didn’t hate the fact Atsumu saved him from having to sit next to someone like Bokuto, but it wasn’t a good thing either. Sakusa didn’t know what he felt towards Atsumu, but there was definitely something. It started with Atsumu reassuring him as he glared down at the seats on the bus, saying he wouldn’t die, and made a 40 minute coach ride feel like 4 10 minute intervals (it worked)

Atsumu started to use hand sanitizer, the lemon hand sanitizer Sakusa loves, it’s in his locker, in his bag -- and started bringing masks with him, incase Sakusa "forgot" his (he would never but okay atsumu, you smooth prick)

They were going to a smaller, local set of matches. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. Sakusa was fine when it came to having his debut within a month of joining the team, He missed playing in intense matches, he missed the thrill. But, here he was, pacing around his apartment, ignoring the messages from his team about being late. He had woken up at 5am, and they were due to leave at 9am. He had more than enough time to go through breathing exercises, call Komori for help, maybe even call his main therapist. But, he didn’t. He stayed in bed till 7am, allowing himself to be overwhelmed with thoughts about the coach, the ride, having to deal with the team, having to see atsumu, having to meet fans, and for the first time in years, volleyball. He felt slightly nervous with volleyball at first, mainly at the idea of having to try to befriend his teammates, but he was scared of the actual volleyball game right now- he definitely wasn't scared of seeing Atsumu because he felt like he could snap at any second and could possibly start making out with him in the middle of the match.

He was close to the gym they used, but couldn’t bring himself to go. His mind was whirring and didn’t feel like it was gonna slow down anytime soon. After what felt like over an hour of pacing, he was snapped out of his mind, as he heard someone knocking on the door. He was ready to snap at them, but- “Omi-kun? Are ya good in there? We kinda need ya” and Sakusa is unfortunately reminded of Atsumu’s existence. Atsumu hadn’t really been on his mind at all then, but he was confident it was something regarding Atsumu that caused some of this. He never stopped. Sakusa had a lot he wanted to say to him, he wanted to ask why he ignored him for 4 years, why he wouldn't leave him alone, why he couldn't just stop- "Omi, 'm not gonna go till ya come tell me ya not dead." along with another knock at the door.

Sakusa came from a somewhat wealthy family, his apartment wasn’t bad, and it had thick walls and it was almost impossible to hear noises from outside, even if you tried to. Even so, he could hear Atsumu’s accent from a mile away. It had faded a little since high school, but when he was playing or not thinking about it, he would start to use it again (sakusa has no idea why he knows this)

Sakusa had planned on ignoring Atsumu and hoping he would eventually go away if he ignored him, but Atsumu had just gotten more persistent with his ways, Atsumu hadn’t stopped trying to get his attention, and unfortunately, wouldn’t go away unless he answered. Sakusa didn’t have the energy to be bothered with anyone, he just wanted to be left alone. 

Swinging the door open, he was met with a seemingly stressed Atsumu, pacing outside his door.

“What the hell do you want, Miya?”

“We all thought ya were dead Omi! You shoulda-”

Atsumu just stares at him for a little

“I should what, Miya?”

“Ya look like a mess, are ya good?

Sakusa was too busy internally panicking to remember that he had bad habits when it came to things he did to calm himself down, specifically when he’s too worked up to properly calm himself down. He starts sweating sometimes, he bites down on his lip, as a form of trying to relieve some of the stress, not to mention that he hadn’t showered, or dealt with his hair, or got changed out of his pajamas. Sakusa simply walks back into his apartment, and flops down onto his bed. He doesn’t have the energy to be awake, and that means he definitely doesn't have the energy to deal with Atsumu teasing him for how he looks.

“Omi? Sakusa, you need to breathe. Sakusa, can you breathe for me?”

To say the least, Sakusa doesn’t know what to say, so he listens. After going through multiple scenes of being panicked and stressed within a day, the last thing he really wanted to do was talk to Atsumu, but this didn’t feel like Atsumu. The Atsumu he knew was loud, he was careless, he did things without thinking, he was just Atsumu. But here they are, sitting on Sakusa’s bed, while Atsumu is awkwardly holding one of his hands, and telling him to breathe. And he does, Atsumu doesn’t let go of his hand, and doesn’t stop talking in a low, calm voice, telling him to relax, and that he’s okay, and that he’s here. 

Not remembering falling asleep, he wakes up in his bed, there’s water on his bedside table and- 

And Atsumu is on the floor, leaning against the wall, asleep. Guilt slowly seeps into his system, and he can’t shake off the feeling. He knows that he gets exhausted quickly from it, but he hasn’t fallen asleep from it before. They had multiple games today, and Atsumu had been looking forward to going to them for weeks, but he stayed with Sakusa. He knows it isn’t his fault, Atsumu could’ve calmed him down then left, but he stayed. Stayed with Sakusa. Someone who puts more effort into ignoring him than anything else. Sakusa had been so determined to block him out, and not give him another chance at invading his life and tipping it upside down again, but for once, Sakusa isn't thinking about anything

it feels like everything's about to change and it's because of Miya Atsumu (when has atsumu not changed our lives for the better omi omi)

**Author's Note:**

> as an overthinker - i think my mind feels a little more at ease now i've wrote this, idk writing seems like a good outlet okay??
> 
> thanks 4 reading, i suck at this - i would link my twitter but i don't think people do that here...


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